John C Donahue.com

Daryl Mann - Drum Major

Often times, my memory wanders back to by younger days.  I reminisce about the good and bad times.  I remember the friends, the bands, the musical, practicing, dating, and all the pizza.  It truly was one of the best times of my life.  It had it’s darker moments: being thrown out of band (I was re-instated the next day), my parents slitting up, and all the dumb mistakes and people I hurt in the process.

One of the brightest spots in my high school day, without a doubt, was Daryl Mann.  he was a tuba player I met my sophomore year, and were it not for him, I often wonder where my life would have wound up.  You see, Daryl was the guy who got me into playing at New Hope Baptist Church in Fayetteville, GA in their orchestra.  And because of that, I met Larry Mayo, and Larry led me to meet Jesus Christ, and my whole life changed.

Me and Daryl

Daryl was one of the brightest spots in my whole high school life.  he was funny, smart, and very, very talented.  I am not sure that even he knew how much raw talent and ability was wrapped up in that lovable cheese-ball of a tuba player.  And with Daryl, when he played, he made music.

Daryl came from a single-parent home.  It was Daryl, his mom, and Dale, his older brother.  I remember the day “mom” died.  It was horrible.  She worked back to back shifts so that she could take care of her boys and one day, while she was working, her heart just stopped.  She was worn out.  It was a devastating blow to two boys who had already lost so much.

But Daryl took it in stride.  He always did, and did it with a smile.  He helped me in more than just spiritual and musical ways.  He took me on as a friend, even though I was brash, a rookie, and not really all that smart.  I was funny, but not in the same way Daryl was.  Daryl just accepted me, and loved my mom and dad, and was always there for me when I needed him.  We spent more time just hanging out and talking about music, God, life, girls, and more music.  It was both our passions.

Daryl graduated and went to school in Tennessee and then was accepted to the Cincinnati Conservatory of Music.  It was a dream come true.  One story I heard about his college exploits was when a friend of his got married and came home from their honeymoon.  Daryl was in their backyard with his tuba and played them love songs and music from Robin Hood.  That was the guy he was.  He didn’t ever had a lot of money, but he gave constantly.  His mother taught him well.

I had lost track of Daryl after I graduated and had heard that he came back to Atlanta and was teaching at a local middle school.  I also heard that he was struggling because the kids didn’t seem to be responding to him like he thought that they should.  One one day…my whole life changed.

I got a phone call from a band director friend of mine who told me that “Daryl Mann just committed suicide.”  I couldn’t speak, I couldn’t think, I was in shock.  How could this happen?  Daryl, not Daryl.  He, out of all of us, couldn’t have done this…and worse yet, he had shot himself in a hotel not 5 miles from my house.  How could I have lost one of my best friends, just a few miles from where I lived?

I called Larry Mayo and found out that Larry was doing the memorial service.  And he asked me a question that I will never forget…”John, was Daryl, TRULY saved?  Did he know Jesus Christ?”  And for that, I had no answer.  I had no question that Daryl believed in God and I want to believe that at some point he gave his life to Christ, but who REALLY knows for sure?

The memorial was horrible, it was raining, late in the evening, ona Friday night, in the middle of football season.  In fact, I had to leave one of my drum lines, with their band director, to attend.  It was a nightmare.  I can still remember how Dale looked.  Beside Daryl’s urn, they had placed his ture love, his tuba.

For several days, weeks, and even a couple years, I was empty.  I think that I had never really LOST anyone before that autumn, and then I lost Daryl, my friend Cheryl to cancer, and my “adopted” mom to cancer.  It was a dark time.  But Daryl, grieved me the most, and his lost made the most profound impact on me.  It taught me that you cannot take any moment for granted.  Every minute with those you love is a blessing and a gift from God.  His passing changed me, and many others, forever.  The world became somewhat dimmer when we lost him.

Daryl was my friend and without a doubt, the finest musician I ever knew.