An Explanation of Silence

As you may (or may not) have noticed, I have been very silent lately.  And, by way of explanation, it has been a “perfect storm” of circumstances.  Let’s start at the beginning…

About a month ago, I was part of a staff meeting where it was explained, due to the financial situation of the church, there would not be a paycheck coming for the foreseeable future.  I had already been testing the waters of part-time employment, due to a “heads up” from my boss.  Now…it was reality.

On the same day, we got confirmation from the people renting our home in Florida were not going to be able to stay in the house.  They are suffering from the lousy economy as well.

And then, we got word that Sarah was going to have to have surgery to repair a ruptured disk in her lower back.  This will make her quality of life MUCH better, but until then, she is stuck in bed.

So, I have been asking my self….what’s up with THIS God?  I have been dealing with depression and trying to figure out exactly WHAT Sarah and I were going to do.  I am not going to lie, it has been difficult.

Here is What I Don’t Know

I don’t know when my time of suffering/learning will be over.  Nor do I know how we will survive the next week or month.  I don’t know why this is happening, and what I did to cause this.  I don’t know why God would call my family up to Georgia just to move us back to Florida 7 months later.  I don’t know what we will do for money when or if we do move back.  I have no idea what went wrong at StonePoint.  Was it my fault, did I know “connect” people like I should have?

I don’t know if Sarah will be able to continue with her present job, or if she will have to look for something immediately following her surgery.  I don’t know if there is a job for Sarah, or even me, in Florida or Georgia.

I don’t know how we will survive….without God.

Here’s What I Do Know

I love StonePoint and Scott Whitaker, it’s pastor.  I have been privileged to be his friend and will continue to be such.  I have been able serve and serve with some awesome folks, and I look forward to staying friends with them a long time.

There is no ill feeling towards Scott or StonePoint, and I know that there is not ill feelings in return.  I have been stretched and I learned a LOT.  I got to have some experiences that I hold invaluable.  I had the opportunity to redeem some really harsh feelings toward the church  in general, and Scott and StonePoint have been nothing to my family, but a blessing.

I also know that Sarah will be better than she has been for years.  She will not have the lower back pain that she has been suffering with for as long as I have known her.  I know that, because of our sacrifice and decision to pay for our own health insurance, she will get all the care she needs and deserves.

And I also know that we will figure out what God wants us to do with regards to the house, moving to Florida, staying in Georgia, or even finding work in either place.  We have even given it up to God about going somewhere ELSE even.

I know that God has not brought us THIS far, just to drop us on our butts now.  I know that God has allowed a lot of things to happen to Sarah and I because one day in the future, we will be able to minister to someone based on our experiences.

We will not be ministering based on theory, but by practical fact.  And taking a look at our economy, we will have many opportunities to serve many people in our specific way.

So, I have taken a break from blogging, and even posting on Twitter.  But that time has passed.  I have been away with God, and look forward to more time with Him, but now is a time for action.  And I am looking forward to the future with GREAT expectation.