The Dark Side Of Emotional Intelligence

The Dark Side Of Emotional Intelligence

Encouragement, Health, Motivation

The Dark Side Of Emotional Intelligence

There is so much emphasis on emotional intelligence these days that it appears that people are suppressing their emotions and problems in an effort to “fit in,” to keep their jobs, and using “positive self-talk” to muscle through the rough spots in their lives.

Recently, there was a man who had suffered enormous job stress during a time when his wife’s father was dying of cancer. Of course, quitting his job didn’t seem like an option during this difficult period, particularly since his wife returned to her parental home for many months to say good-bye to her dying father. That left him at home to take care of their children, pay the bills, and so on. Who can forge positively into a new job-search with all that going on?

After his father-in-law passed away his wife returned home and he lost his job – as did many of his colleagues – and his wife decided she no longer wanted to remain married. What else could go wrong? OH! Of course! His father could be diagnosed with cancer: He was.


Recommended Reading: Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ, by Daniel Goleman


Now he is living a complete hell, with all of this turmoil, and two sweet children looking to him for stability. Is it any wonder that people are cracking under the strain?

He is all alone and he tries to be “emotionally together” but that only causes more harm than good. We (society), in our need for order and stability, don’t want people with all these problems in our lives. We don’t want them working in our office. They’re broken!


Recommended Reading: Changes That Heal: How to Understand Your Past to Ensure a Healthier Future, by Dr. Henry Cloud


Well, the truth is, our (society) expectations around emotional intelligence, and together, full-functioning adults, is what is breaking them.

To start the healing process, he simply needed someone to acknowledge his horrific circumstances, emotional turmoil, and gave him permission to embrace it all.

He’s not broken, he’s experiencing emotional pain and it needs to be expressed, embraced, and worked through (processed.) It’s not enough that he embrace it either. His community needs to surround, help, love, heal, and regenerate him as much as possible.

So, when we see hurting people, don’t look at them as broken people who haven’t got their act together. Look at them as someone who needs a bit of kindness, generosity, and loving support. Watch the power those simple things can have in their life.

Caveat: This does not condone people remaining disempowered victims for the rest of their lives. Our role is to embrace and still to empower, leaving the “wounded one” to take responsibility for their recovery. Embrace, love, and challenge.

Notions, Expectations, and Mental Health [Podcast]

Notions, Expectations, and Mental Health [Podcast]

Personal Development, podcast, Relationships

It’s amazing how something so seemingly insignificant that happens to you when you are a child can have tremendous impact on you as an adult.

Notions, those little traumas created in our childhood that create huge ripples as we become adults, and expectations that fuel our frustration, a powerful combination to say the least.

In this week’s Real Life Podcast, co-hosts Lou and John discuss how notions and expectations affect our mental health.

In this episode we discover:

– How are notions created
– How expectations fuel frustration
– How the combination of notions and expectations sabotage our mental health
– What we can do to safeguard our minds against the devastation these notions can bring

Listen To The Audio

Watch The Video

 

Join the Conversation

Our favorite part of doing these podcasts is participating in the conversation they provoke. Each week, we ask one question. This week, it is this: Do you have a preconceived notion that creates frustration in your life?  Share your answer on Facebook, Twitter, or LinkedIn.

Have a question or comment?  Send it to questions@reallifepodcast.com


About Us

louLou Carfizzi holds an Masters in Professional Counseling from Liberty University.  Lou has 14 years experience as a therapist working with families, individuals, adolescents, and providing technology based therapeutic solutions and has extensive experience treating a wide variety of disorders and situations through his practice at LifeCareCounseling.net.

Discover More About Lou Carfizzi, MA LPC

 

unnamedJohn C. Donahue is a blogger, writer, speaker with a focus on leadership and personal development.  Having spent over 2 decades in occupational ministry and the business world, John shares his insights and experiences providing encouragement, motivation and direction on his blog JohnCDonahue.com.

Discover More About John C. Donahue

What To Do When You Don’t Know What To Do [Podcast]

What To Do When You Don’t Know What To Do [Podcast]

Personal Development, podcast

what-to-do-when-you-don't-know-what-to-do

What do you do when you cannot seem to discover what you need to do in life/work/relationships

Sometimes you just don’t know what to do. The frustration and emotions that come from not knowing which way to turn when you have to make serious life decision can often be overwhelming.

In this week’s Real Life Podcast, co-hosts Lou and John how you can discern what to do when you don’t know what to do.

In this episode we discuss:

– How not knowing what to do affects our mental health
– Steps to discover the be decision to make
– How to get un-stuck in life/work/relationships

Listen To The Audio

 

Watch The Video

Join the Conversation

Our favorite part of doing these podcasts is participating in the conversation they provoke. Each week, we ask one question. This week, it is this: Have you ever found yourself stuck, not knowing what to do?  Share your answer on Facebook, Twitter, or LinkedIn.

Have a question or comment?  Send it to questions@reallifepodcast.com


About Us

louLou Carfizzi holds an Masters in Professional Counseling from Liberty University.  Lou has 14 years experience as a therapist working with families, individuals, adolescents, and providing technology based therapeutic solutions and has extensive experience treating a wide variety of disorders and situations through his practice at LifeCareCounseling.net.

Discover More About Lou Carfizzi, MA LPC

 

unnamedJohn C. Donahue is a blogger, writer, speaker with a focus on leadership and personal development.  Having spent over 2 decades in occupational ministry and the business world, John shares his insights and experiences providing encouragement, motivation and direction on his blog JohnCDonahue.com.

Discover More About John C. Donahue

The Affects Of Notions [Podcast]

The Affects Of Notions [Podcast]

Health, Personal Development, podcast

notions-real-life-podcast

How Do Notions Affect Our Daily Lives?

Notions… not the babbles and bits from sewing kits, those little traumas created in our childhood that create huge ripples as we become adults.

In this week’s episode of The Real Life Podcast, co-hosts Lou and John discuss how notions are created and their affects on our daily lives.

In this episode we discover:

– What notions are
– How the affect us in our lives
– What those notions cause us to do
– How to handle the notions we have

Listen To The Audio

 

Watch The Video

Join the Conversation

Our favorite part of doing these podcasts is participating in the conversation they provoke. Each week, we ask one question. This week, it is this: What notions do you carry around?  Share your answer on Facebook, Twitter, or LinkedIn.

Have a question or comment?  Send it to questions@reallifepodcast.com


About Us

louLou Carfizzi holds an Masters in Professional Counseling from Liberty University.  Lou has 14 years experience as a therapist working with families, individuals, adolescents, and providing technology based therapeutic solutions and has extensive experience treating a wide variety of disorders and situations through his practice at LifeCareCounseling.net.

Discover More About Lou Carfizzi, MA LPC

 

unnamedJohn C. Donahue is a blogger, writer, speaker with a focus on leadership and personal development.  Having spent over 2 decades in occupational ministry and the business world, John shares his insights and experiences providing encouragement, motivation and direction on his blog JohnCDonahue.com.

Discover More About John C. Donahue

4 Challenges To Overcome For Success [Podcast]

4 Challenges To Overcome For Success [Podcast]

Leadership, Personal Development

success

Tony Robbins says, “When you get in your head, you’re dead,” and that is very true. We have mental challenges for our success.

In this week’s Real Life Podcast, co-hosts Lou and John discuss 4 of the biggest challenges we face and how to overcome the biggest challenges we face.

In this episode we discuss:

  • What are the 4 biggest challenges we face
  • How what others think about us affect our success
  • How we can overcome the obstacles we face in our lives
  • What we can do to ensure success

Listen To The Audio

 

Watch The Video

 

Join the Conversation

Our favorite part of doing these podcasts is participating in the conversation they provoke. Each week, we ask one question. This week, it is this: What challenges are you facing?  Share your answer on Facebook, Twitter, or LinkedIn.

Have a question or comment?  Send it to questions@reallifepodcast.com


About Us

louLou Carfizzi holds an Masters in Professional Counseling from Liberty University.  Lou has 14 years experience as a therapist working with families, individuals, adolescents, and providing technology based therapeutic solutions and has extensive experience treating a wide variety of disorders and situations through his practice at LifeCareCounseling.net.

Discover More About Lou Carfizzi, MA LPC

 

unnamedJohn C. Donahue is a blogger, writer, speaker with a focus on leadership and personal development.  Having spent over 2 decades in occupational ministry and the business world, John shares his insights and experiences providing encouragement, motivation and direction on his blog JohnCDonahue.com.

Discover More About John C. Donahue