A Simple Formula For Overcoming Fear and Worry

A Simple Formula For Overcoming Fear and Worry

Encouragement, Leadership, Personal Development

A Simple Formula For Overcoming Fear and Worry

If you ask most people why they have not achieved their goals or the level of success they desire, they will usually respond with some built-in excuse (negative belief) that is holding them back. Underlying this excuse or negative belief is usually a fear or worry. How many times have you attempted something new, only to stop before you ever got started because you were afraid of what others may think? Or you don’t think you have the time or money or both? Or because you believe are inexperienced or lack the knowledge to succeed?


Recommended Reading – Fearless: Imagine Your Life Without Fear, by Max Lucado


Someone once defined F.E.A.R. as False Evidence Appearing Real, which means we have chosen to believe in something that is not really true. But because it is our belief, it is our reality. Worry is nothing more than a sustained fear caused by indecision. Sometimes we need to ask some tough questions to determine the cause of these worries or fears. Once the fear is identified, a simple formula can be used to overcome that fear.

The first step is to clearly define what you are afraid of or worried about. Write in down. Put in on paper. Half of your worries and fears will be solved the instant you can define them clearly by putting them on paper. What once seemed big in your mind will look small and insignificant on paper.

For the other half, you need to move on to step two. Ask yourself, what is the worst possible thing that can happen if this fear or worry becomes true? Make a list, yes, write it down on paper underneath your clearly defined worry. Keep writing down everything that comes to mind until you have identified the worst possible outcome. Do you realize that 90% of what we worry about never happens? Think about how much time you spend on worrying about stuff that never will happen. This list will help you see that.

Once you have completed your list, resolve in your mind that you will accept the worst possible thing that can happen. Since 90% of those things will never occur and generally the other 10% will not kill you, realize you will survive. Accept the worst possible thing by telling yourself, I can handle it, over and over again. This will start to turn things around.


Recommended Reading: When People Are Big and God is Small: Overcoming Peer Pressure, Codependency, and the Fear of Man, by Edward T. Welch


Finally, begin now to make sure the worst never happens. Put together an action plan of exactly what you need to do to turn things around. By focusing on positive changes and implementing your action plan, your focus will shift to the positive outcomes and away from your fears. You will begin to feel better because now you can DO SOMETHING! Positive action is the only cure for fear and worry. Try this formula today and see if it will work for you. It has worked for me

How To Overcome The Fear Of Success

How To Overcome The Fear Of Success

Personal Development

It is well documented that many people fail to achieve their goals in life due to the phenomenon known as “fear of failure” but are you aware that a major factor that is often overlooked, is a state known as “fear of success”?

Fear of failure will lead many people into inertia – the inability to make decision or take action in case they receive rejection or negative outcomes. This mental state is fairly easy to identify and there are many tools to help combat this plague and reprogram the mind for success. However, the fear of success is much more subtle, harder to spot and also harder to eradicate.

Perhaps you have this tendency in your life. Here are some indications of a fear of success mentality.

  • Studying and trying to implement self-improvement techniques and/or personal development tools but your life does not improve or may even get worse.
  • You settle for less than you feel you deserve or are capable of achieving.
  • You start new projects full of enthusiasm and optimism but wane in your efforts or stop short before you have completed them.
  • You expect things to go wrong no matter how well the situation appears to be at the moment.

Can you identify your own patterns in the any of the above statements?

The fear of success can make you behave in ways that hold you back. Click To Tweet

The fear of success can also make you behave in ways that hold you back. Look at the list below. These are the symptoms of the fear of success.

Procrastination – putting off what needs to be done or not doing what you know will bring you closer to your desired result. Everyone suffers from this inner ‘demon’ at some point in their lives (although some of us suffer from it more than others!).

Procrastination is a ‘success killer’! How can you expect to reach your destination if you do not take steps towards it? Strive to do little things each day that will bring you small steps closer to your goal. This is why having a personal development plan is an essential ingredient in the fight against procrastination. Take action! Any action! Refine your steps as you go along but do not sit and do nothing. Taking action is one of the key aspects in personal development.

Can’t see the forest for the trees! – this is almost the opposite of procrastination but has the same effect on your personal development. The aforementioned saying is well known but have you ever given it real consideration?

Don’t get caught up in your plan believing that it is more important than the materialized goal! For many years I got caught in this trap. I started to think and act as though my plan was more important than my end result and thus missed many opportunities to alter my path and reach my goals more quickly! Let go of your ego and allow the Universe to show you a quicker route to your goal. Remain flexible.

Thinking that the time is not right – have you ever waited until the timing was perfect before starting a venture? Have you ever waited until you had more information on a better plan?

Again ACTION is the key to the door to success. Taking small steps forward are better than taking none or waiting to see if your foot is landing on the right spot! Even if your actions take you away from your goal you have at least gained insight and knowledge about what does not work!

Being a perfectionist – this is similar to the point above and has the same effect, namely, that you never really move forward. No matter how good a job is when its finished it can always be improved! I have heard many great musicians tell how they hate listening to their own songs because they can find a million things that need improved. Yet, we still enjoy them. I think a classic example of this is “Bridge Over Troubled Water” by Paul Simon. This song is hauntingly beautiful yet Mr. Simon does not think its good enough!

Seeing only problems – how do you use your focus? Do you constantly see only and all the problems involved? If you are this way inclined it is pointless trying to change overnight! However, you can use this mindset to your advantage while you strive in your personal development to acquire an opportunistic frame of mind instead.

“How can you use seeing only problems to my advantage?” you say. “Easily”, is my reply!

Look at the problems and prepare a plan to deal with them. Every time you overcome one congratulate yourself. Use them as a gauge for your achievements. If you keep seeing more problems remind yourself of how well you dealt with the others. Look at how far you have come! If you see a problem ask yourself, “how best can I overcome this challenge?” or “how quickly can I rectify this situation?”.

The quality of your questions are important as I have outlined in a previous article. Use the problems as fact finders. Is there a real problem now? If so then deal with it. Is it a potential problem? If so then create a contingency plan in case it does occur but don’t get caught up in it just be prepared.

Enjoy the journey, follow the above guidelines and you will achieve success. Eventually your fear of success will dissipate and you will have moved a long way forward in your personal development.

Emotions: Fear [Podcast]

Emotions: Fear [Podcast]

Personal Development, podcast

rlp-fear

All you have to do is watch the news or read the headlines to know there is a lot of fear and trepidation around the world.  People have a lot to be afraid of.

In this week’s Real Life Podcast, co-hosts Lou and John discuss some of the things people are afraid of and some sound strategies to combat their fears and overcome them!

In this episode we discuss:

  • What are we afraid of?
  • How to handle being afraid of relationships
  • How to overcome fear of difficult discussions
  • How to combat the fear of loneliness and not being accepted

Listen To The Audio

 

Watch The Video

 Join the Conversation

Our favorite part of doing these podcasts is participating in the conversation they provoke. Each week, we ask one question. This week, it is this: What is something you are afraid of?  Share your answer on Facebook, Twitter, or LinkedIn.

Have a question or comment?  Send it to questions@reallifepodcast.com


About Us

louLou Carfizzi holds an Masters in Professional Counseling from Liberty University.  Lou has 14 years experience as a therapist working with families, individuals, adolescents, and providing technology based therapeutic solutions and has extensive experience treating a wide variety of disorders and situations through his practice at LifeCareCounseling.net.

Discover More About Lou Carfizzi, MA LPC

 

unnamedJohn C. Donahue is a blogger, writer, speaker with a focus on leadership and personal development.  Having spent over 2 decades in occupational ministry and the business world, John shares his insights and experiences providing encouragement, motivation and direction on his blog JohnCDonahue.com.

Discover More About John C. Donahue

Don’t Be Afraid To Fail

Don’t Be Afraid To Fail

Personal Development, Relationships

There’s a lot of people who have always had “that dream.”  You know, “that dream” to do something remarkable.  “That dream” to write a book, start a blog, or start their own business.  It’s sad that many time, “that dream” never becomes a reality.  

dont-be-afraid-to-fail

There are many reasons for this.  Time, resources, desire, passion, or a perceived  lack of these are often to blame. But if we were being honest with ourselves, most people are  simply afraid of, or intimidated by, the fear of failure and they never dust “that dream” off and do something with it.

“The sad reality is this: a dream without execution is a wish.” – Gary Vaynerchuck

Today is a the best day to take “that dream” and start to make it happen.  

Begin the process by asking yourself a couple of questions like,

“Why haven’t I done that thing I’ve been dreaming about? Is it because I am afraid to fail?”

It’s ok if you are afraid.   Everyone has fears, but the challenge is to take the steps needed to start fulfilling your dream and making them a reality.

If you fail, that’s fine, you can always try again.  Failing means you have the opportunity to keep working towards success. Remember, it took Thomas Edison 1,000 tries before he invented the light bulb.  Where would we be if Mr. Edison had stopped on the 1,000th failure?

The most important thing to remember during this process is that you are choosing to live your life to the fullest and making your dreams come true. When you are older, you will never have to ask yourself, “What if I had chosen to take that leap of faith?” Or, “Why didn’t I do it back then?”

Don’t end up living a life with regrets.  Stand up, grab your ideas and dreams, look fear in the face, and step into greatness.  Because we should never be afraid to fail.

You Can Do Great Things

You Can Do Great Things

Health, Leadership, Personal Development

You may not realize it, but you are remarkable. You have an incredible mind that can create music, movies, art, books, blogs, apps, the ideas are as endless as your imaginations. You are full of amazing potential.

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You can do great things to make a living, inspire others, define your own life, and even to just enjoy life. You have the power to change the world.

“There are only 3 colors, 10 digits, and 7 notes;
its what we do with them that’s important.”

Jim Rohn

But you may been told that you were not good enough, dumb, silly, useless, or made to feel less that you deserve. And while tragic, you can overcome those people, feelings, and emotions.  You should never let other people dictate how you feel about yourself.

You can rise above the level of other people’s mediocre expectations and choose to be as amazing as you want to be. You have all the tools you need: your imagination, your dedication, and you desire to achieve great things.

Here’s some ideas to start you down your own path of doing great things:

  1.  Done ONE THING each day that scares you. Use the fear and anxiety to become accustomed to it so that you recognize it when it comes and embrace it and can work through it.
  2.  Make a list of 10 unique ideas or thoughts.  These ideas can be anything, book ideas, blog posts,  anything that requires creativity. Each day you need to exercise your body as well as your mind.  Writing down 10 ideas stretches your brain muscles and helps you be more creative.
  3. Daydream.  Dreaming is incredibly important, not only to us as individuals, but to our society.  Without the desire or ability to dream, we begin to slide into a state of being that is not who we were meant to be as people.
  4. Decide to become a better thinker.  Consistent, persistent changes will eventually become healthy habits.

You have those 3 colors, 10 digits, and 7 notes…the question is, what will you do with them?

Resources

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